I’m afraid to say that I have found a better offer elsewhere to reserve my spot. There is some guy, who has been around for a good 2000 years now, who has personally reserved me a spot. You see, the flaw in your product is that sin has been ignored - a problematic barrier for entry, and refusal at the pearly gates, for getting into heaven (probably explains the long queuing hours, due to so many peoples lives having to be analysed for sin). However Jesus has taken away my sin, defeated the power of death by rising from the grave, and so my belief in him has secured my place in heaven for his price, not yours. I have to pay nothing, Jesus has paid my price already.

I would also like to thak you for your website - it is a source of great humour for me, and will also be the source by example of the next worship session at my university Christian fellowship, which i am personally leading, to praise God for paying our price for us.

I’m afraid the competition is too great for you - Somebody is offering it for free, and as a management student, and also having had some experience in e-commerce, you will not be able to compete with the competition, as you will no doubt have expenses to pay on the website (and no additional advertising on your site is producing revenue), and as a result to reduce your price down to free would send your business into a loss. God, I’m afraid to inform you, has easily claimed the monopoly on the “entry to Heaven” market, and you simply cannot compete. What you could do is go to your local church and ask your local pastor how to obtain the free gift that God offers, rather than use your own. (which, as I have already explained, is ineffective due to the fact that your product is incapable of removing sin, the key barrier to getting into heaven.)