Reserve A Spot In Heaven popped up in a Romanian Womans magazine recently.
I’m sure the site has been featured in other publications, we just don’t get them or hear about it, so if anyone sees us anywhere, please share it with us!
We had someone e-mail us a poem they wrote mentioning our ’service’, so I have to post it.
Confession
Forgive me, Father. My last confession was
too long ago. My sins are too numerous to mention.
However, if you could find it in your heart,
please talk to God and tell him not to give away
my place in Heaven. I don’t know when I’m coming,
but it would comfort me to know that I am wanted.
Every Friday I sat with classmates listening
as you said hell was simply a phone call away.
All I needed to do was deposit dimes in the lap
of the devil and my space would be reserved.
Please tell the devil that while I have occasionally
enjoyed the lavish comforts, I prefer the rent control
afterlife offered by heaven. I don’t really mind
the long staircase and the insufferably lengthy wait
at the gates, but my milky white skin hates the heat.
I know God can get pretty pissed off at times.
Remember New Orleans? or that tsunami?
or that Old Testament-style wrath and fury? I doubt
I’ll ever forgive him for Republicans.
God, why did you choose to make me fat?
Are you fat? Do you have to deal with
an ex-wife? Do you ever find yourself
hating your job? Why has my football team
never won a Super Bowl? I pray all the time.
Father, I wanted you to know that I paid
my $15.95 for my spot in heaven. I have framed
my heavenly issued certificate of reservation
registered in the Book of Light. I thought the
first class ticket to Heaven was a nice touch.
The Official Heaven Identification Card
and the Heaven 101 mini informational guide
will help me get used to the new surroundings.
My favorite, however, is the all-access VIP pass.
I’m looking forward to partying with the elite
in the Land of Milk and Honey, as well as kicking it
in the Thug Mansion. That is so fierce.
To be honest, eternal happiness sounds
a hundred times better than eternal damnation.
Knowing my sins are forgiven is a comfort.
Now, Father, if I should fall from grace,
you know, murder, adultery, greed, etc., etc., etc.,
I want to make sure the money back guarantee
still stands. I need to make a car payment.
We love it. Check out his myspace at www.myspace.com/burquepoet
Just some random e-mails (We have a lot of fans)
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this shit is funny as hell but i gotta know…what the fuck are yall smokin and where do i buy that?
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i’m a Bible college student and i just wanted to say that a friend told me about your site (through a link he had on his xanga– a link to some article) and it’s hilarious.
i’ll probably end up buying some reservations.
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I had to write and say thank you. There is by far not enough humor in the world! I laughed better than i have in a long while ty.
Churches are probably just resentful of the fact that they didn’t think of it first, seems one guy in the article says you cant by your way into heaven, these hypocritical men of god cant ever seem to get enough for themselves though.
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I love the ingenuity and steel nerve it takes to put something like this together.
I salute you 
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Don’t let the uptight idiots born without a sense of humor get you down. This is a clever idea. Will be buying some packets for Christmas gifts!
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everything you are saying is totally wrong!! no one on this earth can buy or earn their way to heaven!! if you are truly “angels” you are obviously really bad ones considering you dont even know one thing in the bible! the only way to heaven is through jesus christ and if you dont believe that you’re the ones going to hell! u are the most evil people i have ever heard of and u are turning many innocent people that could truly go to heaven away from it! i hope you will stop this and ask god for forgiveness or you will be burning eternally! u are not heaven angels but hell demons!
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Hi guys…all this stuff that people are saying negatively about your site is ridiculous. They are just jealous that they didn’t think of it first. I personally think it is a great idea. Good Marketing technique. I wish you the best!
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I saw your story on KOMO-4 news….and laughed hysterically. I think your site is great…so great in fact that I’d almost spend the cash to get my very catholic stepsister a spot just to piss her off and offend her Awesome stuff for sure! However, do you have any plans for the Buddhist population? HAHAHAHHA! 
Great job, y’all! I really love it!
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sickest thing in my life i have ever heard,once a person is dead that cant tell u f the made it in…God says all former things have passed away…..anywhooo///so sad,why dont u reserve ur spot in hell,cos that could be very well where u are going for leading people into this lie…
and be sure uknow its a greater damnation…
well oh well..u are a false person,and may God shut this page down…ur wrong,and u will see u are..
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What a great site. You guys rock. I laughed my butt off (and being overweight, that’s a lot of laughs!!!).
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why would you do something stupid like that you have no sense god dose not like it at all so i suggest that you STOP this right now not funny at all!!!!!!!
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Honestly, you guys are fucking ridiculous.
Your idea is sick and dumber than anything.
Trying to make profit by promising people a spot in heaven is complete bullshit.
Here’s a link to the promised tv appearance of us. Props to Komo for doing a good job on the editing and not making us look like hoodlums.
KOMO NEWS STORY-Click Watch Story to see the video that aired
Also, to anyone who has ordered HELL packages. There is a slight delay, but they will go out this week. Pictures will also be up this week on the hell website of the packages. Thanks!