We got our first wholesale order which is pretty exciting (and it’s for a pretty big company). WOOOT! Anybody interested in buying wholesale please contact us at sales@reserveaspotinheaven.com

Yah, it’s a little late, but oh wells. You will be missed.

Oh, and we aren’t anti religion or anything like that. We just thought this was funny.

Reserve A Spot In Heaven popped up in a Romanian Womans magazine recently.

I’m sure the site has been featured in other publications, we just don’t get them or hear about it, so if anyone sees us anywhere, please share it with us!

We had someone e-mail us a poem they wrote mentioning our ’service’, so I have to post it.

Confession

Now, Father, if I should fall from grace,
you know, murder, adultery, greed, etc., etc., etc.,
I want to make sure the money back guarantee
still stands. I need to make a car payment.

We love it. Check out his myspace at www.myspace.com/burquepoet

Just some random e-mails (We have a lot of fans)

——
this shit is funny as hell but i gotta know…what the fuck are yall smokin and where do i buy that?
–
i’m a Bible college student and i just wanted to say that a friend told me about your site (through a link he had on his xanga– a link to some article) and it’s hilarious.

i’ll probably end up buying some reservations.

–
I had to write and say thank you. There is by far not enough humor in the world! I laughed better than i have in a long while ty.
Churches are probably just resentful of the fact that they didn’t think of it first, seems one guy in the article says you cant by your way into heaven, these hypocritical men of god cant ever seem to get enough for themselves though.
–
I love the ingenuity and steel nerve it takes to put something like this together.
I salute you
–
Don’t let the uptight idiots born without a sense of humor get you down. This is a clever idea. Will be buying some packets for Christmas gifts!
–
everything you are saying is totally wrong!! no one on this earth can buy or earn their way to heaven!! if you are truly “angels” you are obviously really bad ones considering you dont even know one thing in the bible! the only way to heaven is through jesus christ and if you dont believe that you’re the ones going to hell! u are the most evil people i have ever heard of and u are turning many innocent people that could truly go to heaven away from it! i hope you will stop this and ask god for forgiveness or you will be burning eternally! u are not heaven angels but hell demons!
–
Hi guys…all this stuff that people are saying negatively about your site is ridiculous. They are just jealous that they didn’t think of it first. I personally think it is a great idea. Good Marketing technique. I wish you the best!
–
I saw your story on KOMO-4 news….and laughed hysterically. I think your site is great…so great in fact that I’d almost spend the cash to get my very catholic stepsister a spot just to piss her off and offend her Awesome stuff for sure! However, do you have any plans for the Buddhist population? HAHAHAHHA! Great job, y’all! I really love it!
–
sickest thing in my life i have ever heard,once a person is dead that cant tell u f the made it in…God says all former things have passed away…..anywhooo///so sad,why dont u reserve ur spot in hell,cos that could be very well where u are going for leading people into this lie…
and be sure uknow its a greater damnation…
well oh well..u are a false person,and may God shut this page down…ur wrong,and u will see u are..
–
What a great site. You guys rock. I laughed my butt off (and being overweight, that’s a lot of laughs!!!).
–
why would you do something stupid like that you have no sense god dose not like it at all so i suggest that you STOP this right now not funny at all!!!!!!!
–
Honestly, you guys are fucking ridiculous.

Trying to make profit by promising people a spot in heaven is complete bullshit.

Here it is people, proof the world is ending. This means you don’t have much time to reserve your spot in Heaven, so act fast!

Small Texas town abuzz over reported UFO sightings

By ANGELA K. BROWN Associated Press Writer
© 2008 The Associated Press

STEPHENVILLE, Texas — In this farming community where nightfall usually brings clear, starry skies, residents are abuzz over reported sightings of what many believe is a UFO.

Several dozen people — including a pilot, county constable and business owners — insist they have seen a large silent object with bright lights flying low and fast. Some reported seeing fighter jets chasing it.

“People wonder what in the world it is because this is the Bible Belt, and everyone is afraid it’s the end of times,” said Steve Allen, a freight company owner and pilot who said the object he saw last week was a mile long and half a mile wide. “It was positively, absolutely nothing from these parts.”

While federal officials insist there’s a logical explanation, locals swear that it was larger, quieter, faster and lower to the ground than an airplane. They also said the object’s lights changed configuration, unlike those of a plane. People in several towns who reported seeing it over several weeks have offered similar descriptions of the object.

Machinist Ricky Sorrells said friends made fun of him when he told them he saw a flat, metallic object hovering about 300 feet over a pasture behind his Dublin home. But he decided to come forward after reading similar accounts in the Stephenville Empire-Tribune.

“You hear about big bass or big buck in the area, but this is a different deal,” Sorrells said. “It feels good to hear that other people saw something, because that means I’m not crazy.”

Sorrells said he’s seen the object several times. He said he watched it through his rifle’s telescopic lens and described it as very large and without seams, nuts or bolts.

Maj. Karl Lewis, a spokesman for the 301st Fighter Wing at the Joint Reserve Base Naval Air Station in Fort Worth, said no F-16s or other aircraft from his base were in the area the night of Jan. 8, when many sightings were reported.

Lewis said the object may have been an illusion caused by two commercial airplanes. Lights from the aircraft would seem unusually bright and may appear orange due to the setting sun.

“I’m 90 percent sure this was an airliner,” Lewis said. “With the sun’s angle, it can play tricks on you.”

Officials at the region’s two Air Force bases — Dyess in Abilene and Sheppard in Wichita Falls — also said none of their aircraft were in the area last week. The Air Force no longer investigates UFOs.

About 200 UFO sightings are reported each month, mostly in California, Colorado and Texas, according to the Mutual UFO Network, which plans to go to the 17,000-resident town of Stephenville to investigate.

Fourteen percent of Americans polled last year by The Associated Press and Ipsos say they have seen a UFO.

UFO sightings have been reported all over the world for centuries, including the infamous 1897 crash of a cigar-shaped object near the tiny Texas town of Aurora. While some thought it was a hoax, decades later investigators from UFO groups said evidence suggests the disfigured pilot’s body buried that day was an alien.

In Chicago in late 2006, some United Airlines pilots and other employees reported seeing a saucer-shaped craft hovering over O’Hare Airport before shooting up through the clouds. But federal officials said nothing showed up on the radar and explained it as some type of weather phenomenon.

In 1997, dozens of people saw lights in a V-formation over Phoenix, a mystery that was captured on videotape and spurred calls for a government investigation. A few months later people reported a similar sight over Las Vegas.

One of the most famous cases was the 1947 crash on a ranch near Roswell, N.M. Although the government said it was a top-secret weather balloon, an Army officer who helped recover the debris came forward 30 years later claiming a cover-up, asserting that an alien spacecraft had crashed. Reports later surfaced that a base nurse told someone that autopsies were performed on aliens from the wreckage.

A few months after the New Mexico incident the U.S. Air Force started Project Blue Book, which investigated more than 12,600 reported UFO sightings — including 700 that were never explained — before the program ended in 1969.

Erath County Constable Lee Roy Gaitan, who said he isn’t sure about the existence of UFOs, said one night last week he first saw red glowing lights and then white flashing lights moving rapidly across the sky.

“I didn’t see a flying saucer and I don’t know what it was, but it wasn’t an airplane and I’ve never seen anything like it,” Gaitan said. “I think it must be some kind of military craft — at least I hope it was.”

We started a blog! This is just just a test though while we figure out how to customize this thing.

Expect all sorts of funny stuff like hate mail, updates, rants, letters from groupies and anything else we can think of that is related to the site, so check back!

Anyways, lets start this bad boy off with a piece of hate mail we received today (one of many). We aren’t making this up either…

You would have to be pretty fuckin stupid to fall for that lame site you guys have. honestly, i could only see a retard actually thinking that you can reserve a spot in heaven. you guys must be pretty fucked up yourselves to go through the trouble of creating a site like that. all i have to say is, i hope you burn in hell motherfuckers.

I think this guy has bigger problems if he really think we are seriously trying to sell spots in Heaven.